JEAN ANSWERS SOME QUESTIONS

Someone asked that should one of our daughters marry a man of good faith, but no money background, does the bride family help out with property and a house.  Before our daughter married this man, we would want to know why he is in the financial position he is in.  Is it because he has been helping his family with medical expenses?  Has his Father been injured or passed and he is helping support his family? Does he have some medical or physical condition that he is unable to work outside the home?  Is there a lack of work in his area?  Or is he spending every penny that he earns on material items rather than saving some of his money?  Worse yet, is he just lazy and doesn't work.  We link our faith and work together.  If you are of good faith then you should be working, being able to support your bride and later, your family.

David and I discussed this.  What would we do?  If the man did not have any money as he was helping support his family, we would help with the property and the house.  If he had been a Foster Child and had no savings, we would help.  If he had a medical or physical condition where he could not run a farm, we would help with the property, house and try to set him up in some business that he could make an income.

If he was lazy or wasting his money, we would try to talk our daughter out of marrying him.  Should our daughter insist on marrying this man who does not work, David said they would move into our house with us.  If we had too, we would turn our attic into an apartment for them.  Then this man was going to learn to work a farm because David would see that this man learned, did the work and saved some of the money he made.  David said whoever marries his daughters are going to support her in the Old Order Mennonite way to which she is accustom.

That doesn't mean that he should be rich, He has to be a working person who has the religious faith and the means to provide for her and family.  If he is a farmer, does wood working, owns a general store, or some other religious approved means of support it is fine with us, but he must be able to support.

Also, if they marry, he is working and is injured or ill, in a position that he can no longer work, we would not allow them to starve either.  As I said before, if there is another trade that he could do, we would help him learn it and set up business.  If he was in position that he could not work, we would help them.  If we had too, we would move them in with us.

David said that likewise our young men will have to support their wife and family.  Sometimes our young men think he is too strict.  All of them put a certain amount of money they make in the bank for their future when they marry.  Not only have we taught them farming, but seen that they learn another occupation too.

In farming the weather can make such a difference in how the crops come out.  You may have several good years, then a bad year.  Starting out, with your own farm, the first few years might be tight and we would be glad to help our children out.  It is good to have another trade, too.  During winter time, when farming is at rest, another trade could be an income.   I didn't think I would go on so long on this subject, but this is important to us.

Susan has picked the boy at school that she says she wants to marry.  Actually she has a crush on him.  Of course, he doesn't know it.  He is two grades ahead of her.  At lunch recess, he plays with the boys and doesn't pay any attention to the girls.  He and his family attend where we do.  She felt sad that he doesn't notice her.  David and I told her to enjoy school, being a young lady, and her friends.  She has a while before she has to consider marriage.  Then she will not have to go to the the boys, they will come to her.

Marilyn has a message below.

Be With God,
Jean

The Haiti Auction is this evening and tomorrow.  I won't be going.  If anyone is going and taking pictures, I would appreciate if they could e-mail them to me so I could put them on here.

Thank you,
Marilyn