Monday, September 21, 2015


First, we extend on Sympathy to Marilyn on her brother's passing.  He has done his time on earth and we hope he is in heaven with the Lord.  It shows we should be prepared because we never know when our time will end on earth and we will answer to the Lord.  We are praying and asking the Lord to ease Marilyn's grief.

Marilyn asked me not to put a whole post on about death, and grief at this time, so I will do as she asks.  I just want her to know she is in our prayers.

John and Sarah went to the hospital to see the maternity section that the hospital offered.  John wasn't going to go as he said birthing is women's work.  I told him it takes two when it comes to babies and he had better go with her.  He agreed.

When they got to the meeting room, there were two Englisher couples, a Old Order Mennonite couple, one Amish lady with her mother and John and Sarah.  The Amish lady was surprised that John was there as she said her husband's wouldn't come.  Sarah said John wasn't coming originally, but that I had made him change his mind.

He said it was very informative.  A nurse took them through the hospital entrance and the emergency entrance, the room where they go during labor, - the nurse told them that some come by pass that room because they are so far along.  Then the delivery room.  If they have to do surgery it can be done in the delivery room, but if time allows, they would prefer to take them to surgery, which they also showed them.  Mother and baby are taken care of after delivery, they showed them the room they are taken into.  In this hospital they like to keep the Mother and baby in the same room.  The days of going down the hall, staring at a group of babies trying to figure out which one of them is yours are over. Also, they showed, where they take the baby if special help is needed, like it is a premature baby or has some problem that needs special attention.

What John liked the best, is the Mother and baby in the same room.  Also, if he or Sarah's Mother or Anna wanted to stay over, there is a pull out bed that they could sleep on.  Visitors can come to see the Mother and baby, in that room.  This hospital is a private room for Mother, baby and if someone wanted to stay over.  Another thing that John joyed, you don't have a bunch of other people you don't know in another bed.

After viewing everything, they went back to meeting room.  One of the doctors was there and it happened to be Sarah's this time.  They had cookies with coffee, tea, water of a soft drink.  Then they sat and asked the doctor any questions that might have.   The doctor answered all their questions.  Also, they were given some information about the hospital, birthing and alike.

When it was over, Sarah took John up and introduced him to the doctor.  The doctor had said that husband's are allowed in the delivery room - in fact sometimes their being there calms the Mother down during deliver, but Father's have to stay where they are told, are not allowed to give orders, and if they start to pass out are removed from the room.  So the doctor asked John, if he would like to come in if they decided to have the baby at the hospital.  John explained that is not the usual Amish way, but that I was at the birth of each of our children and he would like to be, too.  The doctor said that would be fine.  Then he explained how his brother-in-law went in when his wife was giving birth and almost passed out.  The doctor said that sometimes happens, but most, when they see the baby coming are fascinated.  It is their child coming into the world.  The men had been shown the waiting room if they didn't want to go into the delivery room.

The Amish lady that came with her Mother heard John and said her husband would never come into the room until after the baby was born.  She wanted to know what Amish we were.  John told her Old Order Amish, but it's not the rule of our group - just our family, although our Bishop would never deny a Father from seeing his child born. He said he tried to explain me to the lady, but he said I am kind of hard to explain to people.  They have to meet me.  I don't know if that was a compliment or not.

John would really like to have the baby born in the hospital especially since he has seen the hospital and all that they do.  Sarah is still apprehensive.

Sarah also called the ladies that the doctor had given her the phone numbers of.  The ladies that gave birth a home were happy with their midwives and the doctor.  Ladies that gave birth at the hospital really enjoyed that. One lady told Sarah, you even get meals in  bed at the hospital.  The lady said she really enjoyed the meals in bed because she knew that wouldn't happen again unless she went into the hospital, again.  The lady that gave birth and then had to be taken to the hospital was also pleased.  She said if they have to take you after birth, you don't worry about yourself, but of the tiny baby.  At the hospital she and the baby were given top treatment.  She couldn't say a word against it. She is expecting again - she and her husband have decided they will go to the hospital this time - it is better to be over safe than under safe.

To make Sarah feel even better, Anna and I , had, David, Jean and their family over for dinner.  David rides with the ambulance.  He can not drive, but is trained to treat people in the back on the way to the hospital.  So I asked him what would the ambulance do if they had to take Sarah.  He explained what they would treat her at home and in the ambulance, if necessary.  Also, said they would take the back road instead of the front road as it is a lot shorter.  But, he hopes we don't need the ambulance.

So we are back to the beginning.  Sarah and John are still trying to agree on where to have the baby.  John believes that seeing the baby is so small, it should be born in the hospital, just to be safe.  If an emergency he knows the ambulance would come, but sometimes you should prepare ahead  and not need it.

Anna still says October.  The doctor still says November or maybe even the first part of December.  My answer: time and the good Lord will tell.

Trust God's Wisdom,


Tom said...

My prayers are with you Marilyn and Sarah and John.

New York State Of Mind said...

Good Morning Tom,
I will see they get your message.


Angela Tucker said...

Good morning, Marilyn. You are on my heart this morning. Please know that I continue to pray for you.

I so enjoy Elmer's posts. He has a way with words that makes you feel that he is your own father. I'm glad that Sarah and John took the opportunity to visit the hospital. Elmer is right, it takes two. It was good that John took his advice and went with Sarah.

New York State Of Mind said...

Good Morning Angela,

Thank you so much. I really appreciate your keeping me in your heart and your prayers.

I enjoy Elmer's posts, too. Never know what he will say. I will see that he gets your message.


Vickie said...

I am praying for you Marilyn. Keep praying. I am interested in knowing if you got a return phone call from your niece. Please email me.
Smart advice Elmer. I know John was and will be a comfort to Sarah.

New York State Of Mind said...

Good Morning Vickie,
Thank you so much for your prayers, I really appreciate them. Yes, my niece called me. I will email you.

Will see that Elmer gets your message.


Anonymous said...

Glad John+Sarah had a good introduction to the hospital OB, and that Sarah's doctor was there also. "When the apple is ripe it will fall". Blessings to all your family, Carol

New York State Of Mind said...

Good Morning Carol,

I am glad, too. Will see that they get your message.

Blessings to you and yours,

Anonymous said...

Dear Elmer,

it seems you started a good tradition! :-)
I am about to give birth and I know many women who were very, very glad that their husbands were there for the birth, and many fathers I know say they were glad they were there, too. I hope it turns out a good experience for John and Sarah, it seems the hospital is really accommodating and a good fit for them.

All the best to you and your family,

New York State Of Mind said...

Good Morning Ruth,
Congratulations on your coming baby. I wish you the best and will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. Will see that Elmer gets message.


Anonymous said...

Elmer set a good example by being with Anna to see his children brought into this world. He is a smart man! There's just something different about fatherhood when they see the little ones take their first breaths and scream bloody murder. It's just my opinion, but I think as anxious as Sarah and John are about the first birth, the hospital setting is the right choice. Sarah will have a lot more confidence after this and will probably deliver the second beautifully at home. No matter, hospitals turn mothers loose after the first day if there are no complications. Now my delicate question for Elmer, Anna or Jean is this: Would they allow some anesthesia or pain killers during/after the birth? Not all of this are cut out for natural birth. (I've done both)
Marilyn: Hope you are well and getting over not only the death of your brother but also the family not contacting you in a timely matter. I lost a dear aunt and my father didn't tell me until months later. That's a different story though, Daddy is old (94).
Carol in SC

dynnamae n said...

Elmer is so good in his writing and his advice to John. My sons are 44 & 46 and back then, there was no option for fathers to be present for babies birth. Good for Elmer being with Anna for all their children. I hope John can do that for Sarah, especially if that is her desire. I keep you in my thoughts and prayers, Marilyn. At Griefshare.Org you could sign up for a daily email, that may be helpful to you. Kind of like a daily devotional but the subject is about grieving. Hugs to you and Pierre.

New York State Of Mind said...

Hi Folks,
Will see Elmer gets your messages. We get inspections this week, so I am cleaning my apartment. Glad this is only once a year. Our previous manager use to have them all the time. This manager said only once a year unless he thinks someone is damaging the place, or the apartment is in a dangerous situation.