Monday, June 9, 2014
ELMER TELLS OF HIS AND ANNA'S RELATIONSHIP
Also, as I mentioned in a previous post, Anna had been courting another man. That had a disagreement. I told how I saw Anna along side of the road and took her home in my buggy.
When Anna and I started dating we thought we were the misfits. I being a dwarf and Anna because she liked to do men work and activities rather than just cooking, cleaning, sewing, etc. Anna had been sort of a tom boy when she grew up. Oh, she learned how to do women duties, but she liked to milk cows, plow the fields, go fishing, clean the barns and more. An Amish wife is suppose to know how to milk cows, plow, clean the barns and more - but only to give a hand when her husband needed it. Not Anna, until this day, she would rather clean the barn than cook in the kitchen. I am glad that she will give and cook our meals, do the baking, clean the house, do the sewing, quilting, etc. But I know she would rather be out in the barn or fields.
Her Father and Mother were firm with their daughters. They were to learn all the jobs of the house. Anna's Father did not like the idea of women fishing or hunting. In fact he still doesn't. Women were only to do work with the men when it was needed not on a regular basis. He felt women would ride in a buggy never on the back of a horse. The men were the head of the house and they made all the major decisions.
Anna found it hard to obey all the rules. Sometimes she would get up real early in the morning before her Father so she could milk some of the cows. When her chores were done, she would sneak off to go fishing. Her parents would punish her and she would try not to do it again. But...
So when Anna and I met, my views were completely different than her Father's. Anna and I believe the man is the head of the house - it states so in the Bible. But, I believe in discussing things with Anna before making major decisions. Sometimes her views are different or better than mine. She is my wife and should have her say on what is done in our house.
Likewise if I am not home and a major decision should be made. I trust whatever decision Anna makes. If she is not home, I am, and a major decision needs to be made Anna trusts my decision.
When a couple is courting, for either her Birthday or Christmas, the man buys the lady a clock. It is sort of confirmation of their feelings for each other. I bought that for Anna. But when we got married do you know what I bought Anna for a wedding gift? When we got to our home, just the two of us, I bought out this fancy box all wrapped up. Anna opened it and was shocked to see it was a fishing box loaded with lures, fishing line, etc. She looked at me and said rather sadly that she didn't have a fishing pole. I reached around the corner and came out with a brand new fishing pole. She was so happy when I gave it to her. I couldn't have purchased her a better gift. We fished together, then with our children and now just the two of us.
Anna also wanted to go hunting. So I taught how to use a rifle and hit cans. Then we went hunting. It took her a while, but now she can shot a gun as good as any man. I mean that as compliment. When hunting she can hit a deer as good as any man. Sometimes better than me.
If John and I get three meals a day, clothes to wear and the house presentable, I don't care if Anna wants to plow the fields, clean the barns or milks the cows. If Anna needs me in the house, I will go in to paint, move the furniture, fix the faucet or whatever she needs done. More than once, I have done the laundry or washed dishes so she could get a break to do something she wants to.
Anna, on the other hand, doesn't care how tall I measure up to. She tells me that I am a tall man where I stand with her. It seems that people staring at me or talking about me upset her more than they do me. She doesn't mind having to reach for things I can't reach or giving me a hand when I am too short to reach or do something.
Because of my height, I think I need her to help on the farm more than most men do. Anna never complains when I ask her to come out and give me a hand. If fact, she enjoys it. Sometimes I don't even have to ask her, she seems to know I will need her in certain jobs. When I am thinking of going and get her - she is already there.
When we are injured or sick, Anna knows all the remedies to take care of us. She also knows when to call a driver to take us to the doctor or an ambulance to take us to the hospital. Anna has stayed up through the night when one of the children or myself have been ill. When the children were ill, I tried to stay up at night so she could get a rest, but somehow she would always wake me when I fell asleep, send me to bed and would take over. Countless days she would cook, clean, sew, bake and take care of a sick child through the day and night. I don't know how women have the power to do it.
Also in our home, we have that no matter what our children do, good or bad, they can always tell us. We told our children, we may get upset if you do something wrong, but we would love them. Funny is, we have had our children's friends, when they were young, would come and tell Anna or myself things they wouldn't tell their own parents. If our children did something wrong, we would punish them but never turn our backs on them. We wanted our children to feel free to tell us anything and they did.
When Anna and I started going together, her Father didn't think it would last. No one would want the tom boy. As I told Anna then and I tell her now - she is my tom boy. She is also my wife, and best friend. We just fit together.
In my last post, I told you how we pray together. We feel that the Lord and praying are the most important. When we go through bad times, we realize that this too will pass. We hope that we have taught our children the Lord's way and they will teach their children the same.
Do we argue or disagree? Sure we do. The first argument we had, we didn't talk for almost two days. Then we decided we would never go to bed unless we settle the argument or disagreement first. Also, if we are having a disagreement, we will never say anything bad about each other. We never argued in front of the children. Somehow they knew when we had a disagreement, but we never discussed it with them. We didn't take our problems to our parents, children, neighbors, friends, etc. Now, I guess we have gotten use to each other. We don't argue very often.
We have so many things we like to do together: fishing, hunting, horse riding, walking, shopping, auctions, watching the birds, milking the cows, plowing the fields, etc. and most important praying together. I could go on and on. I am so glad the Lord brought us together, we just fit together.
You also asked how Penn Yan is doing. There is still a lot of work to be done. But, a lot has been accomplished. There was a concert there to raise money for the people. Also, the government was there to help people whose houses have been destroyed. I don't know how many qualified. If I can find the address that I have where money can be sent to help the people, I will put it on. There is a need for volunteers. What some of the people that live there need is money to help them rebuild.
Trust God's Wisdom,